Can't reach Google.com in the last days of the decade. Smells like a Mayan prophecy to me.

Finding Emu.

Elsewhere.

1st day of Winter Break, no alarm, both kids up @ 6:30!

My proudest moments are when I do something that "can't be done".

And just like that... With concurrent relief & disbelief, soccer season ends in a downpour.

On Channuka it's far better to give than to receive. Just ask the big ABC-7 elf. http://bit.ly/6Z4EvP

Booked speaking engagements in both Washington's in 2010.

Bet my son $11 he wouldn't eat a tiny fried octopus. Then my daughter popped one in HER mouth. Net loss $22. Photo opp: PRICELESS.

AMAZON!! No joke: PRE-Ordered a "Black Friday" white DSi yesterday afternoon $163 w/ship -- ARRIVED this morning @ 7:30!

Just finished my second press interview today! Bizarre.

Just finished an interview on Gov't sec/hacking with GovTech Magazine.

Energy-efficient motorized LED dreidel: http://ping.fm/ejI8T

"Green" LED motorized dreidel -- shines for 8 days, no oil required. http://ping.fm/z2M1R

25 years ago I wondered, "How is this lady going to compete with Phil Donahue?" #Oprah

Forget bag fees. The airline could have charged extra for the coastal view from my side of the plane.

Gingrich compares Palin to Regan. Before or after Alzheimers Newt?

Free wifi @ Burbank Airport! Lets party like it's 2004 (before 3G wireless).

Sarah Palin in 2012? Just like the Mayans predicted.

Good news: I'm quoted in Huffington Post (http://tinyurl.com/yg8jaka). Bad news: I'm quoted on Fox News (http://tinyurl.com/y8k4tj3).

Infidelity — There’s a map for that. http://hazdat.com/pwg #HazDat

Infidelity -- There's a map for that. http://ping.fm/wwOJO

Demolished a bathroom today and found my happy place.

Even the best player can't beat a good team. #Fischism

Found a phone booth hidden behind a file cabinet @ my kids' school. I asked my daughter what it was. She said, "An old fashioned way to call people?"

Good athletes know they're good. Great athletes know they're never good enough. #Fischism

More proof times are tough: Found this cheap electronic shopping cart outside a neighbor's house.

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A friend from the DA's office just said I Tweet too much. :D

Ghouly man.

Happy 40th Birthday Internet!

NPR has posted the txt/audio from my interview in MP3: http://ping.fm/Iu5Js

Location, Location, Location. http://ping.fm/Avl7W

I love the press! Before my NPR interview even aired on the West Coast, I got a call from NBC News. Thank you @MartinKaste for a great edit!

Just realized that I don't remember how to use a radio http://ping.fm/ypDVI #Fischbach #NPR #Privacy

According to numerous phone calls, I'm on NPR Radio this hour. http://ping.fm/uW5T0

Finalists chosen for new LAPD chief. I never win ANYTHING!

You'd think a country capable of bombing the moon could figure out how to cure cancer.

Just passed a woman texting on horseback. Wondering if that's a moving violation in CA.

Just came back from the traveling replica of the Vietnam Memorial. I highly recommend visiting. http://ping.fm/uLcUG

Signed up for Win7 Launch Party just 2 c whats in the party pack. No beer. Looks like MS' gonna party like it's 1979.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Awesome! Just found out I get to play the part of "irate parent" in today's earthquake drill. What's my inspiration?

Sad... Just learned that an old friend, and another icon, has passed. Al Martino was, in the truest sense, a good guy.

OT: Verizon -- Oh no you di'nt! http://ping.fm/8Ipey

Sumultanious games. 3-2 win for the boy. 2-0 win for the girl. Only looser: ME. Got to go medicate a head-cold.

Now, imagine if Obama got the Olympics and Brazillian Pres., Luiz "blue-eyes" Lula da Silva got the peace prize... http://ping.fm/43ixD

USA bombs the moon & Obama wins peace prize.

For non-baseball fans, we picked a good night to see Dodgers play. Egg survived drop, my son got to go on the field & Dodgers took NL West.

NEW BLOG POST: "The problem is, banks have too many humans." http://hazdat.com/pth

The problem is, banks have too many humans. http://ping.fm/yVkih

Cleaned up the front page of http://HazDat.com. Hope I made it a little easier to read--maybe faster to load. Would LOVE some feedback.

You Tweet, therefore: YOU ARE HERE. http://ping.fm/eiYO4

NCIS LA: Possibly the dumbest show on TV. I had such high hopes for LL.

A guy shared his table @ coffee. I gave up my BART seat. She drove me to the airport. I gave my SWA drink coupon away. I got a warm feeling.

Feeln the love in Oakland. Gave my BART seat 2 a lady. Missed shuttle. She saw me and offered an airport dropoff.

Hate it when trials run long, but love San Francisco.

Priority boarding, and I end up between the screaming baby, the Berkley speed-talking team team, and a lady with REALLY stinky lasagna.

Strange things happening in LA. Yesterday tansformer fire knocked out power. Today, all nearby schools have no power, but houses are fine.

Chatsworth got an Emmy mention from the 24 POTUS.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: (Correction) My case on "Forensics:You Decide" airs today @ 4PST / 7EST on Investigation Discovery. http://hazdat.com/pqo

Forensics:You Decide (with about 5mins. of me) rebroadcasts tomorrow @ 1EST/4PST on Investigation Discovery. Preview @ http://hazdat.com/pqo

5769 was a very good year! Happy New Year everyone!

Harvard Medical Study Links Lack of Insurance to 45,000 U.S. Deaths a Year (http://tinyurl.com/my7uor)

"Blood in the Birdcage" (Forensics: You Decide, Discovery Channel) http://tinyurl.com/mwh2mg

How German filmmakers hijacked part of California, stole it's identity, and used it to scam an entire country. http://hazdat.com/pq4

Germany, you've been Punk'd! http://ping.fm/9FTE8

Twitter sends mixed messages http://hazdat.com/906

Eight years ago our nation grieved as a family. Today, we let fear divide us. We are most American when we stand up for one another.

Password pownership is cheaper than ever! http://hazdat.com/872

Let's play $100 Password! http://hazdat.com/872

Electronic privacy is for the birds. http://hazdat.com/864

Leadership is in the house!

Fantastic speech!

Taking a dump 21st Century style. http://hazdat.com/658

The difference between falling & flying is all in the landing.

Wi-Fi security -- gone in 60 seconds, AGAIN. http://hazdat.com/761

You never forget the people who remember your kids' birthdays.

You Have the Right to Remain Silent--Even on MySpace http://hazdat.com/177

@ iFly Hollywood

Can't belive they're gonna bury Jackson. This is SoCal. Put him in the blue bin so we can recycle the plastic.

Weird: Back in the same hospital 5-years-to-the-day. Hope my daughter doesn't think we're giving her back.

I declare today: "Take your daughter indoor skydiving for her fifth birthday day!"

Good news for bad behavior: Cyberbullying mom equitted. http://hazdat.com/764

While many pitfalls & potholes lie before us, opportunities are rarely at our feet. We have to look up occasionally to see them.

U.S. Gov. authorizes long-layovers for laptops. http://hazdat.com/746

Goodness gracious great walls of fire!

CA Court of Appeals provides guidelines for "knowing posession". http://hazdat.com/732

Win Ben Bernanke's Money (Irony) http://hazdat.com/715

My theory: A boy's mission is to challenge & conquer his father. A girl's mission is to get him to surrender without putting up a fight.

9th Cir. Appellate Ct. calls "foul" on gov's computer search of MLB drug tests. http://hazdat.com/662

Cellular Tower Location SDT http://hazdat.com/666

...The dream lives on. RIP Sen. Kennedy.

Dear lord, thank u 4 the trees that gave their lives so that I may sleep inside, & copper ore which delivers HDTV, & air which gives me 3G.

People camp to appreciate nature, and mankind's struggle to overcome it.

Help! Stuck @ Camp Whitsett with 300 scouts and their families! No cell svc. Hacked staff WiFi. Need covert extraction team & a latte ASAP.

Today, I overheard my 4-YO daughter talking about accessories. I was SO proud, until my wife explained "accessories" in non-technical form.

DNA hacking: the ultimate identity theft! http://hazdat.com/601

Testifying in Long Beach about what can / can't be recovered from cellphones.

Hopefully, you pay cash for your Slurpees. http://hazdat.com/589

Ever wonder what REALLY happens to the Cash4Clunkers cars? http://digg.com/d310qeB

Palm spying on Pre users GPS loc. & habbits: http://hazdat.com/492 (fixed link)

A MUST READ: Prē secretly sending user's GPS location and habits back to Palm -- EVERY DAY! http://ping.fm/f3tF1

Wife & I woke my son up to lay out under the stars & watch the sky falling. Had an impact on the boy. No impact on Earth...yet.

I'm ashamed! It takes a group that services the 3rd World to provide health care to the uninsured in Los Angles. http://bit.ly/u5ZX2

Lots of meteor chatter. But, is it worth staying up for? I saw NBC's "Meteor" a couple weeks ago. It WASN'T worth staying up for.

Just found out I've been consuming Cookies in my sleep. http://hazdat.com/445

An illegal iPhone app for sex offenders... What will they think of next? http://hazdat.com/408

Wow! Facebook is acquiring FriendFeed! Twitter: Watch your back. http://ping.fm/JxC3Z

Mildly proud of myself today. Wired 3 110v battery-backed networked smoke detectors in my house without starting an electrical fire.

21st Century Pickpockets: Look Ma' no hands! http://hazdat.com/370

If you think your iPhone is a smart phone now, check out this "intelligence" upgrade. http://hazdat.com/305

The difference between a bailout and a handout seems to have something to do with the recipient's tax bracket.

Wheels-up to Burbank.

Spending an atypically beautiful day outside FBI CART/ICAC Sacramento (77 deg./breezy) WAITING for my 10:30 to show up.

Meeting @ FBI CART, Sacramento

Twitter is now BLOCKING malware links! Time to step-up Facebook. http://hazdat.com/289

Is the iPhone the next weapon of mass destruction? http://hazdat.com/279

Untitled

Is the iPhone a weapon of mass destruction? http://ping.fm/fO9il

via Ping.fm

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Is the iPhone a weapon of mass destruction? http://ping.fm/fO9il

Meeting w/SFPD about a cellphone.

Meeting @ Oakland Children's Hospital & lunch @ Le Cheval, Downtown Oakland. BART back to SF.

Just used my first unisex bathroom. Thought it would be cool. Really, it just means men have to wait in the same line to use the john.

Flew a kite with Sandy C. @ Crissy Park, SF.

Awesome day today! No one should should be allowed to have this much fun at work.

Tag--I'm It! NPR Reporter just found me @ a coffee shop on Market St. (Anyone who knows me could have found me without a tracking device.)

Prepping for National Public Radio interview and a game of "GPS Tag" through the streets of San Francisco. Catch me if you can NPR!

Sitting on the dock of the bay.

Someone just mentioned it's "hump day". And here I just thought it was an ordinary Wednesday.

Matzoh bry & swamp jelly (Mayhaw) for dinner! I feel like a Jewish hillbilly.

My daughter wants to know why she has to pass a blood test to get into Kindergarten.

So, 5 rabbis, 3 mayors (D), 2 assemblymen (D/R), & a councilman (D), walk into (thrown behind) bars... Bipartisanship? http://ping.fm/agdHv

The Pres. presents the most progressive change in US history & Jackson still tops the news-cycle.

I can't believe Michael Jackson died just a few weeks shy of the 40th anniversary of the moonwalk.

Spent the entire day with my son... live via satellite. Thank you DARPA!

Spying on my son for fun and profit.

Eddie's El-Cheapo Continuous Inking System

Eddie's had it with the high price of ink, and he's NOT GONNA' TAKE IT ANY MORE! Read: http://bit.ly/bh4W6

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Walter Cronkite has passed. And that's the way it is.

Sotomayor's said more in 5 minutes than Palin could fit between "Younoo" & "Youbecha".

History is airing live now...

Just finished digging Pit 7. Still stuffed from the block party @ Paramount. Grabbing an Iced Blended & my kids, in that order.

Had fun@ Concern Foundation Block Party in Paramount back-lot w/Kim (co-chair) & Gregg. http://ping.fm/clvhs

Very proud of my city today. Never seen that many people behaving around Staples Center @ one time.

Survey says: AT&T 3G sucks everywhere. Verizon & Sprint rule the roost, & T-Mo's not a playa' -- As I've been saying... http://bit.ly/wcvSh

Survey says: AT&T 3G sucks everywhere. Verizon & Sprint rule the roost, & T-Mo's not a playa' -- As I've been saying... http://bit.ly/wcvSh

Watched 8 fireworks shows!

Sources: "Palin to resign as Gov." Result: More economic hardship, political satirists out-of-work?

Just realized none of my clients are working today. About to give myself the day off (or, at least, work a lot s l o w e r).

On American Airlines "full upright position" will never mean the same thing again.

American Airlines passenger misinterprets, "full upright position". http://ping.fm/J5ALn

U7Y3_k4k2uuYEDM5LwwQ.cspx

On Menu: French toast, maple syrup & Canadian bacon. Happy Canada Day!

Just saw MJ circa 1990's outside Madame Tussauds in Vegas. I think it looked more life-like than the real MJ circa 2009 did. (Less plastic?)

MJ's Public Viewing@Neverland Ranch Fri. Not to be crass, but I'm more interested in viewing the property than the body. http://ping.fm/aygCB

Getting ready to celebrate my first Canada Day as a citizen. So much to learn aboot, and so little time, eh?

Exactly 12 years ago I entered into the deal of a lifetime.

My kids want to know why everyone on television is dying this week.

Now Billy Mays! What's the deal? It's like 50 is the new 90! I'm going for a jog and some health-food. I'm well-past my prime.

The irony of death is that it can often be more merciful than life.

Sometimes, you have to bounce off the bottom to get to the top.

Juvenile Hall was a moving experience. More significant than my average day's work. Investment in the future. To think, I almost didn't go.

In a nice glass plaza across the street from a high school. Bunch of teens dressed in Sunday's best. It's not prom. It's Juvenile Court.

Paying it forward.

Just found out tomorrow's Defendant is a 14-year-old. No pressure.

Got the funniest Father's Day card from my sister yesterday. Thanks Sis!

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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I'm not sure why 1st day of camp is so much harder for me than my kids, but I'm glad it's not the other way around.

"Dad" is my favorite verb.

It took an instant to become a father, and two lifetimes to be a dad.

My wife and I are the perfect couple: Without her, my diet has but one staple. Without me, TV has but one channel.

Nice evening with friends. Good community here.

My 4.5 YO just called me "annoying". I think she's ready for Kindergarten.

Dropped of a preschooler, picking up a kindergartener. (Same kid, in case you're worried.) Very proud of my daughter!

Can't sync straight.

Court 2x, testified 1x, flew 4x, schooled 1 judge, 1 DA, 1 cop, 2 attys & 12 jurors. Teaching 20 kids in my son's class was my high-point!

Emergency-sub'ing my son's class. ALL 3rd grade teachers out. District must be REALLY desperate!

At the intersection of analog and digital where my old CRT takes a permanent snow day, and the tube goes down the tube.

Watching my son's oral presentation on the art of prestidigitation followed by a live magic show!

There's always another opportunity to miss another opportunity.

Caught an early flight home! Warned my wife. :D

Back in Sac. Pulled all-nite'r. Found AWESOME evidence! DA dropped rebuttal this morning, sent forensic guy home on a jetplane. Luv my job!

Observing moment of silence 4 the 2 sparrows who died so my 737 could land on-time. Smells like KFC, so I'm keeping my mouth shut N E way.

Conformity and innovation cannot share the same space.

A second-chance is a loan--not a gift. When mature, dividends should be paid forward with interest.

I don't know if a female judge makes BETTER decisions. But, the Supreme Court is judge & jury. So it should represent the US demographic.

Gotta' jet.

Said good morning 2 the lady who picks my trash on Tuesday's. Got nice smile back. Middle class is shrinkng. Have 2 get 2 know my neighbors.

Obama just bought US 60% of a bankrupt car company. Ross Perot doesn't look so silly now, does he? OK, yes he does. Buy American! I want my money back.

Just me, or does anyone else think "Rollover" is not the best wording for a car ad?

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Balancing the Scales: Judge Finds in Fraud’s Favor (http://ping.fm/m2hze)

There's no second-place in the Human Race--only winners and loosers.

My 4YO just bought her first pets--with her own money (about $0.98).

$233 prescription co-pay! The very sweet woman @ the counter actually apologized before she showed me the total.

Freedom and order are opposing ideals.

America continues to prove that, even in the darkest times, we can become a more colorful nation. #latino #sotomayor http://ping.fm/xGHom

qM5iVIF9OnrgW2kTS53D8szV4l9GLewD98DVH580

The greatest achievement is to do something so well that no one ever notices.

What makes this country special is the willingness of its people to pay the ultimate price so that others may live free.

Spontaneous Sunday: Subway to Disney Xmas Carol Train @ Union Station, Lunch @ Alvera St., Evening @ Hollywood Blvd.

Merry X-Mass in May @ LA Union Station.

Laying flags with the Scouts @ LA Military Cemetery.

Consistency is the byproduct of truth.

Would you turn in the, "Mother & Cancer-Stricken Son on the Run Evading Cancer Treatment for Religious Reasons"? http://ping.fm/dTs7U

A miracle happens every time the World exceeds our expectations.

Life is a series of events. Living is a series of choices.

Going boldly where everyone I know has gone before.

My son's room looks like it was hit by an earthquake. He's waiting for FEMA to come clean it up.

My father-in-law is making me watch the Redneck Olympics (STIHL Timbersport Series) on ESPN. This must have been in the fine print in my wedding contract.

What if life is just a dress rehearsal?

Dec 25, 2008, my kids found a grey hair by the fireplace, which my 9YO magnified to find Santa's DNA. Today, my 4YO asked, "What's DNA?".

It's better to have loved and lost Lost, than never to have had Lost at all.

Today LA Times Tweets, "California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage (Prop 8)". Oops! http://ping.fm/r2P09

I hope I'm around long enough to find out how my story ends.

Getting strange messages from outer space. @Astro_127 @Astro_Mike

The beauty of choices is that there's always more than one.

Some climb to get to the top. Some climb to escape the bottom. Others climb to feel the mountain.

The main difference between cars and humans: Cars usually get gas when they're empty. Humans usually get it when their full.

Do you think there will be a finish line at the end of the Human race?

Mochi @ Octopus, Encino

- Taken at 6:40 PM on May 10, 2009 - cameraphone upload by ShoZu

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I find that most of the people at the zoo are stranger than any of the animals.

Mother's Day French Toast: Fresh House of Bread Raspberry Swirl, hand cut X6, 6 eggs, cinnamon, vanilla, & margarine, soaked & slow cooked for 45 mins.

- Taken at 7:56 AM on May 10, 2009 - cameraphone upload by ShoZu

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Today, Jewish mothers around the world begin the annual 24-hour observance of woman's suffrage.

Happy Mother's Day! (Or, to those of you fluent in Yiddish, "Happy Labor Day".)

Ever wonder if you're the collateral damage from someone else's karma?

Sadness is not an infliction, but happiness is contagious.

Character can be found at the intersection between what's right and what's easy.

In his infinite wisdom, God created eyelids. Who am I to question the omission of earlids?

Tonight my 4-year-old READ me a bedtime story, and, in so doing, began a new chapter in her life.

Even in this economy, my kids keep going up in value.

Why is it that our society's most esteemed professionals are still practicing?

Twitter a rabbi & you Tweet him for a day. Teach a rabbi to Tweet and he'll Twitter you for a lifetime. @RavBarry #rabbi #TAS.

Twitter a rabbi & you Tweet him for a day. Teach a rabbi to Tweet and he'll Twitter you for a lifetime. @RavBarry #rabbi

Dad's out of surgery. All's well. Moving on...

Just back from the ER with my sister. Dad's got a pendicitis. He's surprisingly calm. Must be the drugs. OR @ 6AM.

Pig's flu...now anything is possible.

Anyone else feel that?

Sometimes, the wrong path leads to the right place.

The only "sure thing" is a bet against yourself.

BREAKING: Declassified Airforce 1 "flyover" in Los Angeles: http://ping.fm/uLU58

DOD: Next time you need a good backdrop for Airforce1, try Photoshop.

Good news: My daughter DOES NOT have Piglet Flu! Bad news: She still has to take antibiotics.

Never set your goals to near, or your ambitions to far.

Some day, I'll go back and watch the last 9 year's movies in their original format -- without adolescent interruption.

Posting from a Nintendo DSi.

If every agent is a Special Agent, does anyone @ the FBI really feel special?

I get more work done on a quiet Sunday sitting in my car than most of the rest of the week in the office.

The more we understand, the less we're understood.

Canadian, Eh?

Answers are opinions. Questions are truth.

Testing newest Skyfire Beta. Hands-down the closest thing to a desktop browser on a handheld, but 1 helluva battery-suck. http://skyfire.com

How many people KNEW, let alone voted on Facebook's new self-governance TOS? Voting ends tomorrow. http://ping.fm/rFRzr